Whip it

...into shape!

Or otherwise known as: Bernie's mission to look good in a bikini for the cruise that occurs in t-minus 41 days. Especially since I've hit that point where working a desk job and sitting all day is taking its toll on my figure, and has boosted me to a weight that is heavier (ACK!) than I was this time last year. Few sentences are more depressing (well, few sentences that have to do with trivial minutiae and not real tragedy or injustice).

Ergo, whipping it into shape, just like Devo said. Surprisingly, my absolute loathing of exercise of any kind has seemed to evaporate with the exciting discovery of miniature TVs mounted to the elliptical machines at my gym. Which means I can watch Food Network celebrities make buttery, chocolate covered desserts and cheese smothered pastas while I sweat off those calories. If there ever was a more beautiful juxtaposition, I don't know what it is.

In the interest of a healthier lifestyle (read: bathing suit friendly, since my preferred eating habits are anything but healthy and involve weekly doses of french fries) I have moved on to vegetables, insane amounts of fruit, and a fantastic black bean and corn salsa made from scratch (!) that tastes good on everything. Well, almost everything. Additionally, I've discovered that a little bit of cottage cheese is a great way to cream up a salad dressing without adding too many calories.