Questions

How long will it take before Bernie oversleeps in law school?

Answer: less than a week.

This explains why I look like a scrub today.

Torts humor

I de S et ux. v. W de S







Tee hee.

Tomorrow and tonight

Tomorrow is the first day of class for me, and I am proud to report that I have done all (!) the assignments for my classes. Today is the first day of being on top of things. I am hoping that this streak will last me through the entire semester, and that I will not fall back into bad undergrad habits of procrastinating and crunching massive amounts of work into barely manageable blocks of frantic activity. Or too many adjectives into one phrase.

Tonight my dishwasher is making so much noise it sounds like it is trying to outdo the industrial machines at ye local drycleaner. Which is saying something. From the sounds I can make it, it seems that a tidal wave swamps the inside of the machine every 3.5 seconds, culminating in a vicious, swirling whirlpool that makes a funny clicking noise as it subsides and then reforms into yet another tidal wave. I am a little nervous that it may flood. For some reason I don't remember it being this loud last time. Maybe that was because the last time I ran it it was during the day? When other things make noise too? I don't know. I just know that it's loud.

Honeycomb and Lucky have been pretty well behaved tonight, miracle of miracles. When they behave they're so snuggly and delicious that I feel I could forgive them anything. When they are bad I can feel the top of my head spinning off into another time and space. Extremes are, unfortunately, all I have.

Now it's late and I have an early class tomorrow. So for tonight, this is it. Wish me luck!

Orientation...

...has left me a little disoriented. I am completely and utterly exhaustified and am planning on sinking into a mindless stupor for the next few others. Blessedly, Honeycomb and Lucky are on vacation until tomorrow, giving me a little bit of a break.

I am tired as I have rarely been tired before.

Why is Lucky like a cat?

Inventing the wheel

...or, as we like to call it, how to bathe the dogs in a tub that has no extendable shower head.

1. Herd them upstairs. Get them in the bathroom. Put away everything that might get wet when they shake their thangs.
2. Decide to bathe Lucky first. Watch as he looks to Honeycomb to save him, while Honeycomb throws Lucky to the wolves and cowers in a corner.
3. Stick Lucky under the faucet, wet him down, shampoo, lather, rinse. Laugh because he looks like a drowned rat.
4. Dry him off and let him run in circles in the bathroom while forcing a suddenly-limp-legged Honeycomb into the tub. Resort to using a big Tupperware to rinse him off while he looks at me resentfully. Lucky retreats to snuffling at the door in an attempt to escape. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
5. Dry Honeycomb off. Watch as both of them run freakishly around the bathroom, scraping against the walls.
6. Close lid of toilet and sit down holding the blow dryer, aiming at whichever dog crosses my path. Laugh because Lucky seems to like it, whereas Honeycomb will do anything to avoid it. Including crunching into a tiny ball and hiding behind his brother.
7. Let them out and listen to their joyful cries of freedom while scrubbing down the tub.
8. Collapse while damp dogs snuggle up to me.

From Zoo to Bend

Tomorrow I'll be moving to South Bend for good (I think), with only occasional visits back to the Zoo to check up on things.

This would be sad news except that tomorrow the cable guy is coming to install cable and internet in my apartment.

Hello, outside world! How I've missed you!

Frustration

...sadly, has been a recurring theme in my life.

I've been having problems sleeping (although I think this might be due to my total and utter lack of physical activity of any kind), and I really really have a lot more sympathy for insomniacs now. I can't believe how frustrating it is to toss and turn and kick around without being able to drift off, only to find out it's somehow 4 am and you have to be awake in 4 hours.

And then, yesterday, the DVD player in my apartment broke. Tried to fix it, in a number of ways, and it didn't work. So I tried TWO OTHER DVD players (don't ask why I happen to have 3 DVD players in my one-person apartment) and none of them worked right. I am a sad sack with electronics and the frustration was incredible.

Thank goodness I'm seeing Irene and Jody in two days, and Tom just a few days after that. I need a little break.

Overheard

While getting my daily sandwich -


Old guy: "I'd like a small subway, please."



Sure. You know, 'cause large systems of mass transportation are just so gauche.

Looking back, with mortification

I think maybe 3 people read this site, which is a step up from 1 (YES), but I've begun posting much more frequently for two reasons: I'm bored out of my skull, and I probably won't have time to blog much once school starts.

Taking into consideration the former, I went back and read some of my archives from two years ago, and it is amazing how different I was back then. The caps! The exclamation points! The focus on ducks!

(It should be made known that I still focus on ducks, but they are not nearly as forefront-y in my life as they were two years ago, due to things like 1) moving and 2) paying bills and 3) moving. These things, with the teensy little addition of possibly growing up a little, have led me to be less duck-centric, though no less duck-fond.)

(Aside: as asides go, that one I just wrote was really more of an a-front-and-center.)

But anyway, if anyone has a blog that they've kept for any amount of time, and I think two years is pretty long (as Jody pointed out), it's an interesting exercise to go back and look. I've tried for years to keep a diary, with little success, but I think that I can really see the changes in my personality by reading over what I wrote when I was 19 versus what I'm writing now at 22.

I think this is coming dangerously close to self-inspection. Which is disturbing, and thus will end now.

Taking the Subway

Living in between abodes is not always conducive to healthy eating, as I've discovered. The first few days I started eating stuff at home - bagged salad, eggs, instant noodles. Then I discovered that the problem with this is dishes, and when you don't have a sponge and your dish soap is in an apartment an hour away, you can't really wash them.

So I've started eating Subway nearly daily. I always get the daily special (I am such stuff as thrift is made of) and I always eat it while catching up on my Buffy dvds. And everytime I go there, I'm more and more sure that the high school kids behind the counter are using their job as a front for other things they might do more...recreationally.

Witness, a typical exchange.

Me: Can I please have a six inch turkey breast on honey oat bread?
Kid: A six inch turkey breast?
Me: Yes.
Kid: On honey oat?
Me: Yes.
Kid: Ok. Uh, did I ask you what cheese you wanted?
Me: No. But I don't want any cheese.
Kid: No cheese?
Me: No.
Kid: Ok, um, what else do you want?
Me: Everything but jalapenos, pickles, and spinach.
Kid: Oh, wait, did you, uh, want this toasted?
Me: No, that's ok.
Kid: Ok, not toasted. Um, did you want spinach?
Me: No, no spinach.
[kid piles veggies on the sandwich]
Kid: And no jalapenos?
Me: Right.
Kid: Anything else?
Me: Honey mustard, please.
Kid: Honey mustard. Honey mustard. Dave, where's... oh, here it is.
[squirt, wrap, bag]
Kid: Anything else?
Me: No.
Kid: Do you want a meal with that?
Me: No.
Kid: That's $2.96.
[I hand him three dollars]
Kid: Your change is a nickel. Have a nice day.

A nickel! Give him a round of applause, folks.

Hairspray

Did anyone else know Cyclops could sing?



Anyone?