Wednesday, May 31, 2006


bought shoes.

Me and my problems

...which are really little, but big in the tiny magnified world of Mackinac Island.

1. It's raining today and I wore flipflop sandals.
2. It's raining today and my umbrella has weird metal thingies sticking out of it.
3. It's raining today and I miss my Tom very much.
4. It's raining today.

Hopefully, my mood will be boosted by one of several things:

1. Getting a package in the mail.
2. Getting a letter in the mail.
3. Winning the lottery (not going to happen).
4. Indulging in some retail therapy...i.e., buying another pair of shoes. Because I'm wearing flipflops and it's raining and I need shoes.

Otherwise everything is peachy keen. I have decided that I am going to be sulky today. But only a little. This much --> .

There are also menacing little elementary schoolers tooling around on bikes. DANGEROUS. That's all I have to say.

Monday, May 29, 2006

A bracelet, a bicycle, and a Blue Monday

You know, I love having people visit me. The anticipation, the waiting, the planning - it's so much fun. And then when they actually arrive - good NIGHT! I can't get enough. Snuggling with my boyfriend, who I see far too little of, and hugging my family and my doggies, who are also much too seldom seen, makes me happier than pretty much anything else in the world.
Except that when they leave, everythign seems twice as sucky as it did before they came.
Hence, a Blue Monday. Loneliness is amplified when you've got something fabulous and wonderful compared to. I think this is why Hell must be so awful. If you went to Hell and that was all you knew you would lament your life but it would never be the actual psychological torment you undergo knowing and remembering all the wonderful things that came before.

Ok, enough of this depressed crap. Isolation is turning me into a regular Freud. Or Jung. Or something.

For my birthday, my handsome and wonderful boyfriend brought me a very pretty pink bracelet. It is sparkly and sterling silver and everything a girl could want. I especially like the messenger. :)

Also, my parents brought my bike, and having a bike is great! I like whizzing down the street. Also, I registered it at the police station and now it has a shiny new sticker on it that says to potential bike stealers "Hey! Back off!"

Also, today is a holiday and everyone in America is not working except for me. Ok, maybe that is a teensy exaggeration, but not by much. Seriously.

I miss Chinese food. Also I miss Pizza Hut and Meijer. And everyone that's not here with me, which is everyone.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Oh, ya.

Since I've been here in Mackinac, I've heard more yooper accents than I would if I watched Fargo nine times. I think it's really - that lilt in the voice at the end, that turns any statement into a pseudo-question, and of course, that "oh, ya?" That gets me every time.

I've also discovered a slight addiction to buying postcards. I think I've spend close to 5 dollars on postcards. Which is a lot, considering that each of them are like 20 - 25 cents, and that's not even including postage.

I am super de dooper excited for my birthday, which is tomorrow. Hooray! I'm turning the big 2-1! I will finally be completely and utterly legal to purchase anything in any store! Hahahaha I am wicked awesome and no one can touch me. I am particularly looking forward to buying wine for cooking, rum for baking, and champagne to continue that alliterative Tom-and-Bernie brainchild, champagne and Chinese food. Mmmmmmm Chinese food, something that I haven't eaten in over a month. It's really sad how much I miss things like that.

Yesterday I ate so many Sour Patch Kids my tongue shriveled up. I don't recommend it. I also ate Mentos - the freshmaker! Tom says I am a marketer's dream because I can remember all the commercials. I think he is right, except I don't usually buy all the products, like Viagra and Goodyear and stuff like that. So am I a marketer's dream or just a teasing example of what they wish their actual demographic could be like?

Whatever. These musings are the end product of me having nothing to do in the office on a Thursday when Leslie, the other intern and my partner in crime, is over on St. Ignace and I can't reach any of my contacts for stories. And also my birthday is tomorow, so I am a little bit distracted. Perhaps this is a tiny bit understandable?

Monday, May 22, 2006

Things that are cool, and the best grilled cheese sandwich ever

Things that are cool:
-Faxes (we just got a new fax machine in the office and it's awesome)
-Good weather (not today, interestingly enough)
-listening to my iPod and writing blogposts during slow periods at the office (hey, I can't help it if the new owner of the Irish Pub isn't in today)
-Sour Patch Kids (they make me pucker but I love them.)

And...the best grilled cheese sandwich ever. Sorry, I ate it before I could take a picture, but if you're interested, you can get it at the Astor Street Cafe on Mackinac Island for $4.77, with chips and a pickle. I have eaten two of them in the last four days. Mmmmmmm. I think they must use extra fatty butter or something because it just tastes so good.

Booo I have to work and I have a deadline on Wednesday. But tonight the series finale of Alias is on, and even though I don't really watch that show and I never really udnerstand what's going on, it can't hurt to gain a little more pop-culture knowledge while simultaneously burning brain cells and drinking hot cocoa.
Question: hot cocoa or hot chocolate? What's the difference? Is one snottier than the other? Am I becoming the type of person who says "double entend" instead of "double entendrUH"?

Also, since I am slowly disintegrating due to my utter isolation from general civilization, I've decided that I should take advantage of my empty hours and get in shape. So let's see how long this plan lasts. Although with all the walking I have been losing weight, and my calves are getting suspiciously firmer. So much for sloth.

This excessively long post is a symptom of what happens when you put Bernie into an office for nine hours on a Monday with nothing even remotely close to delivery within a ten mile radius.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Money = no money

As evident from the title, this is a philosophical post.

I think that money = no money.

Actually, this only comes from the fact that whenever I have money, I get this simultaneous urge to spend it. Usually on shoes. Sometimes on t-shirts and excessive internet shopping. Hey, when you live on an Island, sometimes you just gotta do it. But in the short span of time I've been here I've spent about a zillion dollars at Wal-Mart, done a little online boutique browsing, and...AND...bought two pairs of shoes.

Will someone please explain to me how in the 2.5 weeks I've been here I've managed to buy two pairs of shoes? From the same store, no less?

They're cute though. Really cute. And also really necessary, considering the zillion billion miles I walk every day. Because they're flat, comfortable, appropriate for work shoes. And as long as I keep telling myself that, I will continue to prove that, indeed, money = no money.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Hi Arti!

Yes, by request, I am now naming my posts after friends who feel unloved after I dedicated a post to Ruth (see below.)

Well. Mackinac Island. What can I say?

This weekend I watched an insane amount of intense TV. Grey's Anatomy season finale (oh I cried so much) and Desperate Housewives. It's fun living with someone who appreciates the joy of titillating television as much as you do.

On Sunday, I went to Wal-Mart in Cheboygan. This was seriously one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. I realize that saying that makes me utterly sad and pathetic, but at least I'm honest. We ate lunch at Pizza Hut and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES. I miss pizza. I miss delivery. I miss shopping in a store where peanut butter doesn't cost $5. Wal-mart was awesome. I bought socks, salad, celery, crackers, oreos, candy, yogurt, chocolate, lotion, shampoo, and I won't bore you with the rest. BUT I DID BUY MEAN GIRLS! The DVD! And it is awesome.

In other news, the weather here has been crazy, but today it is beautiful. Also I am dressed all in black because our washing machine doesn't work and I have few choices. According to a certain someone, I surely look like a black mamba.

Today walking to work was a hoot. There were disgusting fat worms all over the place.

I miss everyone! Send me emails! Send me blogposts! Do anything to help me stay occupied before I go nuts!

Love, Bernie.