Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Yes. In case you were wondering, I am cranky. ALL the time. I exist mostly in a constant state of crankiness, punctuated by brief bursts of terrible cheerfulness, followed by anger. How dare the sun be so shiny? How dare the clouds be so fluffy? How dare that squirrel eat a nut?!?! Why does the entire world not collapse in on itself, a frightful implosion of happy and fun and funny, simply because I am stressed out? Why must the universe point out so vividly that I am NOT Its center?!?!?!?! WHY???


In other news, the cessation of my work schedule has limited my run ins with Shower Hook Girl, and I no longer take the train every morning. So my life has become a lot more boring and a lot more consistent, which I guess is a good thing? Monk like, that's me. Nose to the ever-loving grindstone.

But at least I can find some joy. Today, for example, I wear yellow sneakers, purple leggings, a green tshirt, a blue hoodie, and am carrying a hot pink bag. A certain L. would not approve...especially of the pigtails. But! It cheered me up. So there! I will face the world in rainbow armor, impervious and unbeatable.

At least until the next squirrel looks at me the wrong way. Rodent, I will CUT you, mmmkay?

Thursday, July 08, 2010

It's alive! And annoyed.

Well, that was a long break.

As a welcome back to the world of (very casual) blogging, I have complied a list of characters in the last few days, all of whom have either annoyed or fascinated me. Pithy comments accompany, and forgive the cantankerousness (cantankerosity? Cantanker?)--me plus a needlessly hot summer plus studying for the bar exam obviously equals cranky pants. As a further note, I am now a dorm dweller...yeah I know...and also a mass transit commuter, which makes for some interesting characters.

-Girl who takes up two shower hooks.
Listen, sweetheart. There are four shower stalls. There are four sets of hooks. Do the freaking math and realize that if you take up two sets of hooks, that means someone else will be left without towel space. Said someone might be operating on a delicate balance of caffeinated beverages, carbs, and sugar, and may be on the cusp of throwing an unreasonably infantile tantrum.

-Girl who licks her chips on both sides before she eats them.
What, the chewing gets in the way of that unadulterated barbecue flavor?

-Guy on the train about to bust his eardrums.
I'd like to get that dirt off your shoulder too. Too bad I'm repelled by the wall of sound you have surrounded yourself with via earbud.

-Lady who reads "romance" in large font on her kindle on the train.
I like a good bodice ripper as much as the next person, but this just makes me uncomfortable. 8:15 is too early to be reading over your shoulder about the slow reveal of Raevynne's 'sweet, heart shaped derriere.'

-Dude who sits next to you when there are five other empty rows.
I see you went with the Old Spice today.

-Chick who needs her friend to meet her at the bus stop because she, like, so doesn't know where she's going.
Thanks to your loudspeaker cell phone voice, you also so don't know why Bobby didn't call last night.

-Guy who just has to dance.
Well, the rhythm was going to get him, I guess.

-Guy who waxes poetic about the lemony undertones of his craft beer but has never heard of canned chicken.
The Magic Hat can't save you from being judged.

-Tool sitting in the chair that I brought to the party for myself.
The eff?

-Teenagers who think they're above the no eating rule.
Stop flicking your crumbs on me.

-Lsdy who walks slowly but speeds up as I try to pass her.
Don't you need a car to be this obnoxious?

-Woman who just ate that fruit that fell on the floor.
Yeah, I saw you.

-Guy criticizing his friend for owning a car; friend too spineless to stand up for herself.
(a) you're being a jerk. (b) stop making excuses. It's okay to like having a car.

-Girl who looks gorgeous, cool, calm and composed, while my skirt wrinkles, my face melts, and my hair straggles under the withering pressure of this blasted heat.
Does she have air conditioning in her genes? Like...oh crap. I give up.