Friday, December 28, 2007


Amazing Christmas this year, but definitely the highlight was giving Ann a copy of Sideways...and receiving another copy in my own present! We are the same.

Otherwise a whole lotta nothing has been happening, perfect for what I've hoped to accomplish. Although unfortunately I'm going to have to start thinking about school. Grosssssss.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The decompression

I've been in New Jersey for...48 hours. I have been unconscious for...24 of them.

Evidently, I'm catching up on my rest—and getting a permanent pillow-crease on my face. Happy holidays, everyone!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

One down...

...two to go.

Having just taken my first law school exam yesterday, I'm most surprised by how drained I felt afterward — like I had thrown my entire brain onto my computer screen and very little, if any of it, had decided to return to me. I'm attempting to study now, for my next exam on Monday, and I must say it's a lot more difficult than the studying was over the last week or so. My body and my brain are simply exhausted and there's little room left for the many things it will need to absorb for the next two finals.

Wish me luck! I'm pushing hard.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Freaking out

Because that is what I do when I have better things to do. It's a strange, uncanny part of my nature, to be sure, but no finals week (or in this case, month) is really complete without at least two nervous breakdowns in which I convince myself that I'm going to fail out of school, fail to get a job, and end up living in a cardboard box in Orlando and envying the bum on the corner who got to the refrigerator carton first. Then I do everything in my power to persuade all of my closest friends and family that this will, in fact, happen, and that they have to send me their leftover Christmas fruitcakes until someone gets fed up enough to smack me across the face (metaphorically, of course) and tell me that I'm an insane person and if I don't calm down I really will fail out of school, so I finally do calm down and resort to studying my brains out.

How's that for a run-on sentence!?

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Rest, refuel, recharge...then return to the rat race.

Finals in 2 weeks. Writing final due on Monday. It's time to kick it into high gear, but I've taken Saturday as a semi-day of rest, to enjoy my last few hours with Tom before we both sink head-deep into the mire of exams and holiday frenzy. Speaking of which, I totally knocked 5 people off my list today. That's right. I'm a shopping machine. Now if only I were a writing machine to go along with it.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I wish I knew how to fiddle

because it sounds so cool I can't even stand it. Points for portability, too. Someday I will journey to see Pa's fiddle; however, I will be content for now to watch fiddling videos on YouTube. Thank goodness for the internet.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Thank goodness for Thanksgiving

It's been only a few weeks since fall break, but with the escalation in the number and difficulty of things I've had to do since then have made it much busier and much more stressful. Other unpleasantness has made it an even more hectic time, and so the upcoming promise of a few hours of breathing time, even if it's just some family downtime between bouts of studying, is really something to be thankful for. So for Thanksgiving, I'd have to say that I am thankful that the Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock, because by doing so they've given me a couple hours of grace between now and finals.

Monday, November 12, 2007


Too much to do, too much to remember, too much to handle. It's just TOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I've got to go and do one or 19 hours of studying.

Regular posting will resume when I have a minute to breathe. Not really any predictions on when that will be.

Friday, November 09, 2007

A terrible week

Fighting off an infection, general stress, unlucky occurrences...the stars are definitely stacked against me. Here's hoping that this weekend will turn everything around.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Why my life needs a soundtrack

I've taken inspiration from the one scene of Rocky I've watched (the training scene) and every other 80s movie that uses montage as a vehicle for moving the protagonist from awkward/weak/ugly to confident/strong/beautiful. Lesson? If you have a killer song, maybe with some power chords or a stirring orchestral interlude, you can zip through the hard part right to the reward. So I think I need a montage for these next few weeks—Legally Blonde-esque, if you will—to power me right through Thanksgiving Break to the end of finals. Ideally, this montage will include some MCC, with images of me looking amazingly put together while in my pajamas, hunched over books with late night cups of coffee hovering at my elbow. Then at the bridge, maybe I'll put on a swingy coat and sprint from the chewed-up-pencil, dazed and confused part of my legal career straight to the finish where I'm hoisted high in triumph at the song's moving conclusion.

And if this post is any evidence, I may have a future in montage-making, or at least in the trivia of bad 80s movies and jump-rope sequences. Right now, though, i've got to get back to making that other future—the legal one, that involves at least three outlines and a brief in the next week, not to mention a fast-approaching final. Do I hear the distant strains of Eye of the Tiger?

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Feeling the urge to blog

But not really having anything to blog about. Adventures were had this weekend, more so than usual, and I congratulate myself on the spontaneity of my Saturday night—so different from my usual system of worrying about every detail down to the last minute, then doing something stupid like forgetting the keys and thus negating my obsessive planning. Baby steps.

Also, I cannot find my Torts book. Is it possible that I was once again prepared and left it at school? If so, I am amazed. Knowing me, however, it's far more likely that I have simply forgotten where it is and will later discover it beneath a pile of socks, or something. Or in a kitchen cabinet making friends with the lentils.

Friday, November 02, 2007

The very long end of a very long week

Lots of school, lots of homework, lots of Halloween. All in all a relatively good week, but the boys are now gone and my apartment seems empty, lonely, and strangely echoing.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Things to do when you haven't done anything

1. Study
2. Study
3. Study

Just kidding. Surprisingly, I did get quite a lot done this week and for that I am very proud of myself. But I still have a great deal left to do. It seems like the more I do the more I have to do. Thank goodness I have the memories of a wonderful weekend and a well-stocked refrigerator to keep me going through these busy times.

Friday was a wonderful day - decided to go for broke and take the boys for a walk on campus. They walked around and chased squirrels and pranced for admirers for a couple hours, and when we got home they were probably more tired than we were. Both of them curled up for naps almost immediately. We went to Rocco's for dinner, and had great pizza, and met Rocco! Ah, the celebrity sightings of small-town America.

Saturday morning we ventured out to the Farmer's Market. What a discovery! I bought a red pepper, a delicious French boule, a head of brilliant purple cauliflower, some cookies. We shared a soft pretzel (best I've ever had - those Amish know their pretzels) and took home two smoked chicken and apple sausages, which were probably some of the most delicious sausage I've ever had (just sizzled in a pan, heaped with red onions). Then for dinner, Tom's favorite pork chops in tomato sauce. Not to mention that we watched 3 Disney movies while playing rummy throughout the day. What a way to spend an afternoon.

Unfortunately, this weekend and week are at an end. Real life resumes. At least I shall be better prepared for it, and refreshed enough to boldly face the workload that awaits me.

Yeah. Right.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Overcome by the domestic

With all this time on my hands, and so little desire to study, I've been swallowed, up to my elbows, into the mire of domestic bliss - dusting, vacuuming, laundering until I can launder no more. Cooking, especially. A very petit chicken is bubbling happily away on the stovetop, mere hours away from a beautiful soup speckled with celery and rounded with cute little macaroni elbows. I've also whipped up a chickpea salad and will try my hand at slow-roasted tomatoes sometime this week. The full stock in my fridge makes me sigh with happinnes.

Lest ye think all this culinary exploration emerges simply from an urge to procrastinate, think again. My digestion is thanking me as I slowly begin again to eat food that hasn't come out of a box. The supply of frozen meals in my freezer is dwindling, yes, but thankfully my vegetable crispers are once again full and I'm beginning to get something akin to the daily recommended amounts of nutrients. Time for food is really a luxury, I've discovered, and I intend to take full advantage of it until the blur of school starts up again.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Laughter is the best medicine (and sleep, and more sleep, and more sleep)

All I've done so far this fall break is laugh, sleep, sleep, sleep, eat, and read Crim. It has been so relaxing and restorative that I'll head back to South Bend with a much lighter burden and a renewed sense of energy, but I'll also be sad to leave my friends and my Tom. But I'll get to see the boys, and that's good enough.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My musical renaissance

Delayed, yes, but it's here. And Mary Chapin Carpenter and I will never again be separated.

How to get it done

1. Turn off the TV. Do not allow yourself to turn on the TV. Do not sit in front of or anywhere near the TV.
2. Equip yourself. Food, beverages, whatever. This is not the time to be stingy about calories. You need to get things done and you need to get them done now.
3. SIgn onto Pandora radio and tune to something mellow. Mary Chapin Carpenter and Joni Mitchell are both excellent choices. Keep it on low.
4. Do NOT surf the internet. Pandora and that's it.
5. Stay away from the TV.
6. Do it.

This is 99.99% guaranteed. Side effects include a natural sense of euphoria, pride, accomplishment, and possibly weight gain. Which you can dance off later with all the free time you'll have after getting it done.

Monday, October 15, 2007


Is something I usually lack, in abundance (can you lack something in abundance? If you lack it, doesn't that mean you have no abundance? Confusion). But today I had foresight and I slipped through morning and into afternoon so easily that I think I might try this foresight thing for a while.

Exhibit A: shut down my computer last night and put it in its case.
This morning I just slid it into my bag! No fuss, no muss, no waiting for it to shut down. Fantastic.

Exhibit B: left my Torts book at school
Usually I cart my books back and forth like a crazy overloaded person, but today, ah, one of my books was already at school. How terrific! Never mind that I had a good five minutes of panic this morning looking for it before crossing my fingers and hoping that I had, indeed, left it at school. The important thing is that three days ago (!) I had the vision and preparation of spirit to leave it in my locker.

I feel like today's gears have been well oiled and smooth running as a result of all this planning. I don't know what to do with the extra 30 seconds I've bought myself today. Maybe I'll give myself a quick pat on the back.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

An Open Letter

Dear Flu,

I've nursed you well, I think, for the last four days. Your dizziness, pounding head, sore muscles and staggering exhaustion were a bit much to take, at first, but as I lay in the firm grasp of clammy sweat and sunshine-induced chills, swathed in several layers of blankets and bathrobe, we grew closer. I held you close in my arms through fitful slumber, through the strangling of my pajamas around my glowing limbs, through the feeling that every muscle and joint in my body was being slowly unhinged in the most painful way possible.

But Flu, we've grown apart. Your most potent charms have departed, and the evidence of our relationship litters my apartment - debris of cough drop wrappers, empty water bottles, torn packages of Emergen-C and a spot of dried batter on the counter from when I just had to have pancakes to sustain me through the illness. Your essence is gone. I sleep well, and no longer wake up drenched in sweat or suffering from strangely realistic flu nightmares.

And yet, you linger, Flu. The persistent sore throat and nagging cough remain. Physical exertion is still more dificult than it used to be. And this relationship is bad for me. I know it's true, and you know it's true, and I think it's better all around if we just make a clean break. That would be the healthy thing to do.

In other words, Flu -

Get. Out. I never want to see you again.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Learning to learn, a little at a time

I feel like law school has been more of an onward rush of information that I've needed to learn how to learn, more than anything else. Undergrad was so fragmented and disjointed, easier to learn in chunks. By comparison law stuff is like swimming upstream trying to drink in as much as I can on the way.

In the interest of the almighty grade, I'm starting the study process a early - going over my notes, trying to actually read when I read, and absorbing as much as I can. I've been to see a professor once already, too, which puts me way ahead of the undergrad learning curve. I think I saw a professor only a few times in college, usually when I wanted to shift up from a + to a -.

And other news: family relocation. I'll say more later. Until then, this is Bernie-crim law-civ pro-torts, signing off. Goodnight, and [wish me] good luck.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Why it's hard to be an environmentalist while in law school and/or working as an attorney

I just printed my notes to start outlining. My crim notes alone were 36 pages. Sheesh. I'll need to plant a small grove of trees after I'm done with this semester just to right the balance.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Malice aforethought and breakfast

I've taken to eating my breakfast during criminal law, which means surreptitious bites of a granola bar while trying to absorb my professor's wisdom. No really, he's wise and I am trying to learn it all. To aid and abet me in this manuever I've just purchased the cutest little plastic juicebox. It's squat and square and looks like it needs a Stairmaster. So cute.

On a side note, it's October. Huh?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Mortification, with a side of morning

For the last four weeks, I have dreaded doing that which I inevitable know will come - the unavoidable do something unconceivably dumb in front of a professor thereby alienating myself in his sentiments for all time. Something like cut in front of someone in a checkout line at the store accidentally, only to see my civ pro prof glowering at me and memorizing my face. Or accidentally backing into a professor's car. Or, you know, something like what happened this morning.

It was raining, so the grass was wet, and I was walking on the side on the road rather than traipse ankle deep through damp soil and greenery. A big Escalade passed me, and I stepped back out toward the center of the road to catch up with my friend until I realize that a car has just swerved a little to avoid hitting me, and that the car in question is being driven by one of my professors. So not only have I made a big fool of myself, demonstrating that I have NO awareness of my surroundings, I have also done so while carrying a very recognizable pink lunch box and providing him with a neat affirmative defense if he ever DID hit me.

GOD. Can't I go just one semester without doing something stupid?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Legal Research

Never have I learned so much about so little.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

In the library

I've been in the library for a little over two hours now, and in that two hours I have managed to do only a little of what I had hoped and a lot of what I shouldn't have, i.e., reading Sunday Styles, talking online, wikipedia. I am also hungry, and I really really hope that my stomach doesn't start growling. You know it's bad when you start imagining what you can eat after you get all your work done. I've thought about cooking, but I don't want to dishes. So I think I might have to stop somewhere and get something to eat that way. But where? That's the question. And what? An even bigger question. So many choices, so litte stomach room.

Additionally, all of this sedentary law school life (in addition to the many many empty calories I've been taking in due to my tendency to snack while reading and also to enjoy the company of my friends) is slowly and surely making me put the pounds I shed over the summer back on. This has GOT to be nipped in the bud. I like being able to wear my favorite jeans again.

In the interest of my waistline, I've cut out unnecessary snacking and am trying to adhere to the small-meals-throughout-the-day doctrine. Since I live alone, this is working out pretty well. The next stop on the fitness train: buy a scale. More on that adventure later. RIght now, negligence calls.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Quiet like a cat

My apartment is so still right now. The only noise is my fingers on the keys and the occasional snore from Honeycomb. Solitude is all very well and good, and the exhaustion of this past week has finally caught up to me, to the point where it's almost too much to move from the couch, but I miss Tom. There's not much really to say other than that.

Listening to love songs coupled with power ballads and ballroom dance tunes can do that to a girl.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


This is what I do when I want to put off studying. What you don't see is the mountain of dishes awaiting me.

I think I'll read crim law instead of doing the dishes.



Every time I go there I have a good time.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


I'm sitting in the law school lounge. There's not enough time for me to start studying. There's not enough time for me to go and do something interesting. There's really not enough time for me to do anything but sit here and be bored while looking at other people doing the same thing.

Behold, a random assessment of things I have noticed in the process of being bored:
-My pink shoes almost exactly match my pink backpack.
-It's difficult to rest your head comfortably against a wall (or a headrest, or anything similar) when your hair is in a ponytail.
-TimesSelect is free beginning tomorrow (hellllllls yes).
-Tom hasn't emailed me back yet.
-If you sit in one cpot for a long time, your bottom starts to feel numb.
-1/2 of a sandwich is the perfect sized lunch.
-Snapple Red Tea tastes like nothing mixed with juice.

I really am bored. Where's Baudelaire when you need him to expound on the effects of ennui?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Thursday, September 13, 2007


It's 5:30. I've done my crim law.


Now I can go see the scottish play with a light heart and a free mind - the best way to see Shakespearean (-ian?) tragedy.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Packing heat... the form of a hot Italian sausage for lunch. YUM.

Since coming to law school, in the interest of frugality, of done a good deal of lunch packing. I am especially fond of toting leftovers to school in my appropriately bright pink structured-yet-squishy lunch box. These sausages, though, take the cake, especially since they're just so easy and tasty with a hot dog bun, some vinegar roasted onions (adapted from a recipe by Orangette) and a squirt of mustard from the free condiments bin. Mmmmmmm free mustard.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Check it out!

It's tinybabysuperfrog to the rescue!

(Photo courtesy of

Monday, September 10, 2007

The professor phenomenon

Def: when a professor (usually law, but of any sort) walks into a crowded and conversing classroom and all falls silent.

It should happen any time.

Any time now.

Come on, professor.

Snippets of conversation I can make out: "It's a compensation but you have 21 days to withraw it..."

He arrives!

phenomenon complete!

Friday, September 07, 2007

I am a loiterer

I am loitering. In case anyone in the entire law school wonders who the 1Ls are, we're the gigantic group clustered in the lounge, being loud and obnoxious and having a lot of fun before skittering off to civil procedure. It is a good time.

Other notes: Tom is a wonderful surpriser and he is here for the weekend! I am so happy and comfortable and content. Also, the doggies will be in good hands at the very least.

So far, law school = a really good time.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The perfect study music

Simone Dinnerstein's Goldberg Variations. Lively in places, soothing in others, lovely in all, it keeps me interested enough (I mean, maestro, hello) but doesn't pique my inner distractable self, two qualities inherently necessary to study music and also incredibly difficult to find. I consider this album one of my most valuable study investments, right next to highlighters in the pantheon of homework aids. Dinnerstein plays with such feeling, and a sort of mischievous energy during some of the more complicated runs. Plus, the CD is over an hour long, so when it cycles through and restarts it's like hearing things new again.

Monday, September 03, 2007

The hour in between

Posting between Criminal Law and Civil Procedure might become a regular thing for me. I have nice downtime, I'm usually done with any reading I might have to do, and it's too short a break to really get into any reading ahead (notice how I use lack of sufficient time as an excuse there? Pretty awesome).

I have just spent a wonderful weekend with Tom, whose visits are as precious as gold, and no less so for the fact that he takes most of the burden of doggie-ownership off of me for a few days. Except those guys usually choose to be their cutest when Tom's around, so it's really not fair.

In other news, law school has started to develop into a routine (albeit a new one). The reading is a lot, yes, but I think the understanding is what takes the longest time and in the long run will require the greatest investment. I really want to go back over my notes so far and collate them, or at least distill them into something that is more easily understood at first glance. Right now, they're sort of a mess of bullets and long, run on paragraphs. I have yet to break myself of the habit of writing narratively, or at least in narrative forms, since I can't seem to break my thoughts into bullet points (as useful as those might be as finals approach). This will take practice, I'm sure.

I haven't been called on yet, but I'm sure the day is approaching and will be on me before I know it. What if it's today?! Maybe I should take the next half hour to go over the reading for Civil procedure. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Friday, August 31, 2007


How long will it take before Bernie oversleeps in law school?

Answer: less than a week.

This explains why I look like a scrub today.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Torts humor

I de S et ux. v. W de S

Tee hee.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Tomorrow and tonight

Tomorrow is the first day of class for me, and I am proud to report that I have done all (!) the assignments for my classes. Today is the first day of being on top of things. I am hoping that this streak will last me through the entire semester, and that I will not fall back into bad undergrad habits of procrastinating and crunching massive amounts of work into barely manageable blocks of frantic activity. Or too many adjectives into one phrase.

Tonight my dishwasher is making so much noise it sounds like it is trying to outdo the industrial machines at ye local drycleaner. Which is saying something. From the sounds I can make it, it seems that a tidal wave swamps the inside of the machine every 3.5 seconds, culminating in a vicious, swirling whirlpool that makes a funny clicking noise as it subsides and then reforms into yet another tidal wave. I am a little nervous that it may flood. For some reason I don't remember it being this loud last time. Maybe that was because the last time I ran it it was during the day? When other things make noise too? I don't know. I just know that it's loud.

Honeycomb and Lucky have been pretty well behaved tonight, miracle of miracles. When they behave they're so snuggly and delicious that I feel I could forgive them anything. When they are bad I can feel the top of my head spinning off into another time and space. Extremes are, unfortunately, all I have.

Now it's late and I have an early class tomorrow. So for tonight, this is it. Wish me luck!

Friday, August 24, 2007


...has left me a little disoriented. I am completely and utterly exhaustified and am planning on sinking into a mindless stupor for the next few others. Blessedly, Honeycomb and Lucky are on vacation until tomorrow, giving me a little bit of a break.

I am tired as I have rarely been tired before.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Inventing the wheel

...or, as we like to call it, how to bathe the dogs in a tub that has no extendable shower head.

1. Herd them upstairs. Get them in the bathroom. Put away everything that might get wet when they shake their thangs.
2. Decide to bathe Lucky first. Watch as he looks to Honeycomb to save him, while Honeycomb throws Lucky to the wolves and cowers in a corner.
3. Stick Lucky under the faucet, wet him down, shampoo, lather, rinse. Laugh because he looks like a drowned rat.
4. Dry him off and let him run in circles in the bathroom while forcing a suddenly-limp-legged Honeycomb into the tub. Resort to using a big Tupperware to rinse him off while he looks at me resentfully. Lucky retreats to snuffling at the door in an attempt to escape. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
5. Dry Honeycomb off. Watch as both of them run freakishly around the bathroom, scraping against the walls.
6. Close lid of toilet and sit down holding the blow dryer, aiming at whichever dog crosses my path. Laugh because Lucky seems to like it, whereas Honeycomb will do anything to avoid it. Including crunching into a tiny ball and hiding behind his brother.
7. Let them out and listen to their joyful cries of freedom while scrubbing down the tub.
8. Collapse while damp dogs snuggle up to me.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

From Zoo to Bend

Tomorrow I'll be moving to South Bend for good (I think), with only occasional visits back to the Zoo to check up on things.

This would be sad news except that tomorrow the cable guy is coming to install cable and internet in my apartment.

Hello, outside world! How I've missed you!

Saturday, August 11, 2007


...sadly, has been a recurring theme in my life.

I've been having problems sleeping (although I think this might be due to my total and utter lack of physical activity of any kind), and I really really have a lot more sympathy for insomniacs now. I can't believe how frustrating it is to toss and turn and kick around without being able to drift off, only to find out it's somehow 4 am and you have to be awake in 4 hours.

And then, yesterday, the DVD player in my apartment broke. Tried to fix it, in a number of ways, and it didn't work. So I tried TWO OTHER DVD players (don't ask why I happen to have 3 DVD players in my one-person apartment) and none of them worked right. I am a sad sack with electronics and the frustration was incredible.

Thank goodness I'm seeing Irene and Jody in two days, and Tom just a few days after that. I need a little break.

Thursday, August 09, 2007


While getting my daily sandwich -

Old guy: "I'd like a small subway, please."

Sure. You know, 'cause large systems of mass transportation are just so gauche.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Looking back, with mortification

I think maybe 3 people read this site, which is a step up from 1 (YES), but I've begun posting much more frequently for two reasons: I'm bored out of my skull, and I probably won't have time to blog much once school starts.

Taking into consideration the former, I went back and read some of my archives from two years ago, and it is amazing how different I was back then. The caps! The exclamation points! The focus on ducks!

(It should be made known that I still focus on ducks, but they are not nearly as forefront-y in my life as they were two years ago, due to things like 1) moving and 2) paying bills and 3) moving. These things, with the teensy little addition of possibly growing up a little, have led me to be less duck-centric, though no less duck-fond.)

(Aside: as asides go, that one I just wrote was really more of an a-front-and-center.)

But anyway, if anyone has a blog that they've kept for any amount of time, and I think two years is pretty long (as Jody pointed out), it's an interesting exercise to go back and look. I've tried for years to keep a diary, with little success, but I think that I can really see the changes in my personality by reading over what I wrote when I was 19 versus what I'm writing now at 22.

I think this is coming dangerously close to self-inspection. Which is disturbing, and thus will end now.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Taking the Subway

Living in between abodes is not always conducive to healthy eating, as I've discovered. The first few days I started eating stuff at home - bagged salad, eggs, instant noodles. Then I discovered that the problem with this is dishes, and when you don't have a sponge and your dish soap is in an apartment an hour away, you can't really wash them.

So I've started eating Subway nearly daily. I always get the daily special (I am such stuff as thrift is made of) and I always eat it while catching up on my Buffy dvds. And everytime I go there, I'm more and more sure that the high school kids behind the counter are using their job as a front for other things they might do more...recreationally.

Witness, a typical exchange.

Me: Can I please have a six inch turkey breast on honey oat bread?
Kid: A six inch turkey breast?
Me: Yes.
Kid: On honey oat?
Me: Yes.
Kid: Ok. Uh, did I ask you what cheese you wanted?
Me: No. But I don't want any cheese.
Kid: No cheese?
Me: No.
Kid: Ok, um, what else do you want?
Me: Everything but jalapenos, pickles, and spinach.
Kid: Oh, wait, did you, uh, want this toasted?
Me: No, that's ok.
Kid: Ok, not toasted. Um, did you want spinach?
Me: No, no spinach.
[kid piles veggies on the sandwich]
Kid: And no jalapenos?
Me: Right.
Kid: Anything else?
Me: Honey mustard, please.
Kid: Honey mustard. Honey mustard. Dave, where's... oh, here it is.
[squirt, wrap, bag]
Kid: Anything else?
Me: No.
Kid: Do you want a meal with that?
Me: No.
Kid: That's $2.96.
[I hand him three dollars]
Kid: Your change is a nickel. Have a nice day.

A nickel! Give him a round of applause, folks.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007


Did anyone else know Cyclops could sing?


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Update, in brief

Before I update, has anyone else noticed how spookily Jessica Simpson-esque Fergie looks in the video for "Big Girls Don't Cry"? Not to mention the fact that it looks like she's wearing the same ugly hat in two different colors in the video. Seriously. Get new headwear.

Anyway. Away from my obscene preoccupation with pop culture and terrible but strangely fascinating music.

I'm in the zoo for most of this week and the next, but I'll be making trips back and forth to a) keep an eye on the apartment and b) haul all the junk that we've somehow managed to leave here to where it's supposed to be. Sheesh. I hve a lot of stuff. This has not, unfortunately, inspired me to do anything more feng shui than rearranging my books by height. And buying new ones, at that. I think I'm a lost cause as far as the book thing goes.

Honeycomb and Lucky have been really good company over the last couple of days, despite the slight annoyances of their costant wrassling. I can't imagine what it'd be like without those two fluffy guys to hang around with. They're lots of fun to play with outside but probably they're just good for the soul, and having them makes it feel like I'm still with family.

On another note, I'm gearing up for law school, and reading the few books from the reading list I could actually track down. It's an optional list, yes, but the paranoid in me insists that I at least make an effort to read several of the optional 31 (yes, 31!) books. Especially since I'm sure someone will have read them all and then I'll feel incredibly intimidated. At least this way I might be able to nod along with a vague understanding.

Some of the material has made me a little nervous about what I'm getting myself into but I'm still feeling pretty good, in a "challenge is good" sort of way. This attitude, I'm sure, will wear off the second I step foot into a classroom, but right now I'm willing to give it a good chance to buck up my spirits.

In other news, I get to see Tom in just a couple of weeks. Which is fantastic. We haven't been seperated for this long since...well, ever.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Harry Potter

I just finished. It was everything I wanted it to be.

Monday, July 02, 2007


The only regret I have about leaving Milwaukee is that I don't miss it more.

I do miss it a great deal, especially the 2/$4 bags of Red Hot Blues organic tortilla chips at the Metro Market, or the best tuna sandwich ever (!) at the Pfister hotel, or the view I had of the city from my 6th story gym. But I wish I missed it more. I didn't take nearly enough advantage of the city while I was there. Whether that was from sheer bashfulness, or paranoia, I'm not sure, but there is many a sidewalk that did not benefit from my feet. And leaving on the eve of Summerfest was certainly a cruel twist of fate that should have me sighing more often than I do.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to go back. But in the short time I was there, I did love it, and that's something saying about a city you live in completely, utterly, on your own.

Meanwhile, the times (and the house, and the car, and the lives) they are a-changin'. We bid a fond and sad farewell to our big black car. My mom actually sat in it for half an hour before letting it go into the hands of its capable (and familiar, so we'll be able to visit it) new owners. I have trouble trolling for books to read during quiet afternoon lapses in packing because most, if not all, of my readable books are packed away in layers of cardboard and stacked in strange piles in our unnervingly empty garage. The cabinets are slowing yielding their contents and not getting replenished. We clean our house frantically for complete strangers to traipse through in fifteen minute intervals, breaking our necks to get the last specks of dirt off the ceiling fans before realtors unlock our doors, usher in prospective buyers, and proceed to judge our abode. It's sad.

China, you better be worth it.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Last night I had the super craziest dream, in which I found out I couldn't go to Notre Dame (for some weird reason I can't remember) so I decided to go to UVA for law instead! WEIRD.

Maybe all the stress of moving and packing and cleaning and fridge defrosting is getting to me.

In other news: Milwaukee says bye-bye sometime later today.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Being of two minds


[An empty stage, with a table in the center and a chair. Behind, the lake. A strong wind blows through. On the table-a plate, holding a single bratwurst and a pint of Miller Lite. A young woman enters, stage left. She sits on the chair, contemplating the table's contents. Radishes flutter in, then fall to the ground.]

Woman: A few short months, and all that remains are the silky ends of the time where I tried to grab it, catching my nails on its last gleaming threads.

[A tall woman walks across from stage left, throwing a sheaf of papers into the air, where they flutter to the floor. Exit stage right. Shrimp enter, dancing quickly, before dying off forever and disappearing, stage right.]

Woman: Nothing left behind but that scrape on the wall, that stain on the carpet, those tire tracks burned on the pavement of a still new city.

[A single grocery cart is rolled across the back of the stage, entering stage left, exiting stage right. A human sized block of cheese prances through the background. The lights dim further.]

Woman: Where's the mime?

[Mime enters, stage left, missing one shoe. Exit stage right. A man wearing lederhosen follows him, clapping loudly. Exit stage right.]

Woman: And all that remains.

[She picks up the bratwurst, eats it. She drinks the beer and leaves the empty plate and bowl on the table. She rises from the chair.]

Woman: A bow, and nothing more.

[She bows. Exit stage right. The lights fade to black.]

End Scene

*(forgive the lack of italics. HTML is hard.)
**(this is satire.)

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Whip it

...into shape!

Or otherwise known as: Bernie's mission to look good in a bikini for the cruise that occurs in t-minus 41 days. Especially since I've hit that point where working a desk job and sitting all day is taking its toll on my figure, and has boosted me to a weight that is heavier (ACK!) than I was this time last year. Few sentences are more depressing (well, few sentences that have to do with trivial minutiae and not real tragedy or injustice).

Ergo, whipping it into shape, just like Devo said. Surprisingly, my absolute loathing of exercise of any kind has seemed to evaporate with the exciting discovery of miniature TVs mounted to the elliptical machines at my gym. Which means I can watch Food Network celebrities make buttery, chocolate covered desserts and cheese smothered pastas while I sweat off those calories. If there ever was a more beautiful juxtaposition, I don't know what it is.

In the interest of a healthier lifestyle (read: bathing suit friendly, since my preferred eating habits are anything but healthy and involve weekly doses of french fries) I have moved on to vegetables, insane amounts of fruit, and a fantastic black bean and corn salsa made from scratch (!) that tastes good on everything. Well, almost everything. Additionally, I've discovered that a little bit of cottage cheese is a great way to cream up a salad dressing without adding too many calories.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Back from DC

As you may read from the title - I'm back from DC. Everything was so great - I saw the Lincoln Memorial, the White House, the Vietnam War Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, Arlington National Cemetary, the National Archives, the dinosaurs at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History - whew! I feel so grown up, doing the whole drive to the airport, take a flight, take a metro thing all on my own.

Some strangeness has occurred in Milwaukee upon my return, but suffice it to say that I am handling the situation and I am being bold, smart, and safe.

Otherwise, I've got a month left in this fair city and I'm going to enjoy it!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Apartment discovered


I'll be living next year in a lovely apartment, complete with a little patio in back for the doggies. The complex also has a dog run, and seems really nice and quiet. HOORAY! Also, I get to take the plasma TV from my parents' house, and the baby grand. And my bedroom set. I'm also lobbying hard for all the VHS Disney Classics - great for watching when you're studying.

I have wiggly toes.

And I also make a mean spinach and lentil salad.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Things that are good

In no particular order:

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. Summer shoes
3. Food that cooks fast

On another note, my parents are moving to China. This is both good and bad news. The good? My parents will have this fantastic adventure, I'll be able to visit the, and I'll get to keep the doggies while they're abroad. The bad? They'll be far away, as will my sister, and also will take with them my one somewhat regular source of good home-cooked food that i don't have to make myself.

We've been house/apartment hunting in South Bend, with varied success, and will continue the endeavor this weekend. I think we've got a couple of places in mind. I'm really excited for my own place! Just think - The Magic Flute playing loudly as I cook dinner, the dogs cavorting around my ankles and somehow not tripping me. A closet, beautifully stocked with my clothes folded and organized as they have never been before, shoes lined up in gleaming rows on the floor. Fresh flowers, a fruit bowl, counter space! Ahhh, the things post-grads dare to dream of when it comes to living the good life.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I ahm dunnnnnn

So I'm walking in graduation this Saturday. Awesome. Bill Clinton. Awesome. Eating at Denny's afterward...even awesomer.
Oh yeah. Who's down with the pancakes?

Question: what should I wear? This question pertains to shoes, obvi.

On another note, I'm trying to teach myself how to wiggle my nose. Like Sam in "Bewitched." Not coming along so good.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What I sound like

Ig. Ug. Schnffffffffffugyarg.

I'm sick again.

And my Tom has just left me (even though he was so sweet and stocked my fridge with Gatorade (a vital fluid to those afflicted with spring colds) and my kitchen with napkins (a consolation prize for those who don't buy enough tissues)).

This does not change the fact that I still sound like a water pump gone wrong and am blowing my nose accordingly. It's also freaky cold out. I have many spring like dresses and skirts and shoes, which I can't wear because the wind is still nippy, the frost is still bitey, and the temperature is still frickin' cold.

I feel bad for the ducks who migrated back in hopes of the warm weather.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


I have many plans. The most recent include: the post office, the library, Goodwill, Big Lots. And those are just errands!
The other plans include aged cheddar with baguette and French butter, wiggling my toes.

The rest of my plans include trying to figure out how to cut my budget down per moth. I think I might have to give up Netflix, but as I've discovered the media section of my public library, and let me tell you, it is fantastic.

Wiggling my toes again.

Other plans include black sheep, diaries, rocks. Etc. The purpose of this announcement will be later revealed in all of its glory.

Also I have a zexy new phone.

Monday, March 19, 2007

The best part about living by yourself...

Is that you can stare contentedly at your shoes strewn over the floor, while sitting in your bathrobe and sipping a hot cup of decaf beore you go to bed.

Not much new has happened, except I've heard some more news from law schools. So far I think Notre Dame is giong to take the cake. I have also begun to amass a collection of favorite movies, thanks to my cheap movie hunting skills and my wonderful boyfriend, whose habit of bringing me DVDs when he visits (Kill Bill! Both volumes! Casino Royale!) is quickly raising him to lofty least where my DVD rack is concerned.

Also, I have leftover ravioli for lunch tomorrow. Aside from the shin splints (walking too much, going for a run, unused to exercise) and a slight need to do laundry, life ist gute. Especially since a) I'm visiting Notre Dame this weekend and b) I get to see the parentals, the sister, the doogies...and my tom!!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Being sick sucks

i am sick and cranky and tired and exhaustified and frustrated and in a bad mood to boot. Being sick when you're alone SUCKS. I hate being sick. I also hate snow and the cafeteria in my office building and incessant phone calls and not having any medicine because I am too sick to go to the store.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Best week ever

Really. Totally and truly the awesomest week. First, my Tom came and spent a beautiful weekend, just relaxing and browsing around Milwaukee, including a truly fantastic dinner at Mader's German restuarant. Sauerkraut, sauerbraten, medieval weaponry adorning the walls....a few more "sauers" I can't really remember. Then two of the loveliest girls in the world (read: Jody and Irene) came for a few days, and we ate and talked and shopped our faces off. It was the best. And the food! I have not eaten so well before, and I certainly haven't eaten as well since - today I ate an egg, a leftover pork chop and macaroni and cheese. Ah, the life of a solitary gal in the city.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Late dinner

When do you know that you're a twenty-something girl living by herself in a strange city on an intern's salary?

When you eat dinner at 9 p.m., and dinner is a can of chicken noodle soup and an English muffin with peanut butter.

Also, when it's hard to fall asleep without the TV, and you've burned through your cell phone minutes before the month is halfway over.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

A wealth of happy things

Oh man. I feel that I am jinxing myself with all the happiness that I am so suffused with. So many beautiful, wonderful things have happened to me in the last two days that I simply do not know how to describe them.

Yesterday, Valentine's Day, I received two amazing surprises - Twelve gorgeous multicolor roses from the fantastic ladies of 4QA and twelve beautiful two tone roses from my Tom - both of which were utterly unexpected and surprising, which made them all that much more sweet. They are bloming now and add such amazing color and brightness to my apartment. To wit:

The girls also sent me delicious box of chocolates. Yum.

And then, today, I went to Goodwill and bought the coolest cabinet-cupboard-whatever the heck it is ever. For $9.99!!! AMAZE!

And THEN...I came home and got an email that told me I got into Notre Dame. um...I don't even really have the words to express how happy this made me. So, at Jody's infinitely wise suggestion, i made my way to Metro Market and proceeded to buy myself a chocolate mousse cake and a mini-bottle of Korbel.

If you can't celebrate with the people you love, celebrate by yourself. I haven't been this happy in a long time.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Independent Woman, Part 1

So the reason I have been so completely MIA is that I had no cable (read: no TV, which is also no news, and also no TV shows to keep Bernie company) and no Internet (read: no access to email, blogs, anything...ack). But now that I'm connected again, news from the Milwaukee branch of 4QA, Tourneynbomb, Nguyens, and Disney Divas will once again commence. Saga=long, crazy, slightly dazed.

Left for Milwaukee on Saturday. Drove through white out conditions, 6 feet visibility, around Benton Harbor. Took an hour to get 20 miles. Sucked. Tom drove behind me. So it was okay. And we got here eventually.

Arrived in Milwaukee in the late afternoon. Unpacked everything. Carried a mattress out of my car. Took forever and it was really cold. Grocery shopped at a posh little urban grovery store called Metro Mart. Watched Groundhog Day on my computer because like the genius I am I forgot the connector cable for my DVD and television.

Next day, went shopping at Racine's (about 20 miles outside of Milwaukee) version of Meijer...Woodman's. Isn't that just too much?! Woodman's. Tom went home. I didn't watch the Superbowl because I didn't have any TV. Instead I watched Kinsey, which I purchased at Woodman's for 5 bucks, amd part of I Heart Huckabees, purchased for the same deal.

Next day, Monday. I started work, began training, did stuff. Came home after making a forty minute trek to Target and getting turned around on the freeways. Went to sleep watching episodes of Buffy season 7.

Next day Tuesday. I went to the only DMV open after 5, about forty minutes away, and finally something worked out. I got new plates and registered for a new license.

Today. Wednesday. Went to work. Drove home to wait for the cable guy, who was sick and had to wait for the company to connect me. He got put on hold! Seriously. After he left I went to the Police Department to get my parking permit and had a heart-stopping 15 minutes in which I thought I lost my keys. After I found them, in the single pocket of my bag in which I never put anything (of course it was there) I drove to Walgreen's to buy a screwdriver to put my plates in. Because I didn't have a screwdriver. But I bought one of those cute hammer-in-one things. And i finally screwe in my plates, and now I'm home.

Ah, the life of an ever-transient in-between-city independent woman.

At least my apartment is clean, cute, and nice to come home too.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

A resolution

...being, that I will use this blog more frequently to keep updates on my life (moving to Milwaukee, etc., etc.) freely available. Today's episode: adventures of apartment hunting.

I am so pleasantly surprised by the ease of finding an affordable, non-12-month-lease-able apartment in Milwaukee. After making the drive in 3.3 (!) hours, the parents and I saw three different apartments and finally decided on the first one we saw without bothering to continue our search. The building my new apartment in is a charming, brick construction, 8 floors, with a sun-deck — perfect, according to Ramon, the building manager, for summer sandwich eating and firework watching. Ramon, an small character of a man who works as the manager in exchange for free rent, cable, and no doubt a small salary, spent his afternoon running up and down to get the keys he'd neglected to bring along (since we wished to see more than the one apartment he had been planning on).
The apartment itself is a small affair, lovingly called an efficiency, which term more aptly describes what needs to be done with one's furniture and knicky-knacky type things. It's very small, which in itself is more virtue than fault because it will keep me from accumulating...stuff...with a magnificently large closet to house all my clothes and shoes. After I finish shopping for career clothes, I have decided not to buy any more clothes unless absolutely necessary. I have a ridiculous amount, and I am growing slightly ashamed of the size of my shoe collection.
The only hitch in the apartment itself is the kitchen, which is literally smaller than the closet. However, as I am only one person, and not an excessively large one at that, I think this will be ok and will force me to keep the kitchen clean (because if I don't, dishes will undoubtedly spill out into my normal living space).
It is on the seventh floor, which provides a slight view, and is accessibly by the most absolutely charming elevator, which has double doors. The outer set is opened and closed by hand (very old fashioned, wherein lies its charm) and you see an intriguing little window at each floor you stop at.

This has been a long post, but hopefully one that provides sufficient introduction to my life in Milwaukee. More to come. And pictures.