Please welcome

Percival Pasquale Daubert.

A.k.a., Percy.

I got him yesterday. He seems to be adapting to his new home fairly well and has even taken up Maurice's old habit of chilling in the castle. He looks very different from Maurice, which is good — as a blue/purple fish he even coordinates well with his bowl. Who knew fish could be so fashionable?

Houston, we have a problem

Let's see if I remember anything from algebra/geometry/whatever math uses proofs:

--Sleeping in + 2 hour nap = not sleepy
--Not sleepy + procrastination = baking
--Baking + new cookie cutters - not enough counter space + creative use of washer and dryer = roll-out sugar cookies
--Roll-out sugar cookies + they look naked = frosting
--Frosting + 1.5 hours - 2 cookies bravely lost in combat - 1 cookie sampled by the baker = 50 frosted sugar cookies

Therefore:

Sleeping in = 50 frosted sugar cookies


Something tells me that my math is a little off, but in the twisted logic that is my brain, this makes complete sense. Ah, the joys of the semester's early weeks...plenty of time later to feel guilty about all the hours of possible productivity I've wasted.

But look how pretty!

Wednesday morning coffee

Not much has happened in my life since my last post—the bad day adventure chronicled actually continued, if you can believe it. Since I don't feel like reliving the moments spent sobbing on the highway in bumper-to-bumper traffic because I had missed my exit and was about to run of gas, I'll move on to bigger and better things. Like...finishing my note (relief) and the terrible, terrible weather, and lemon bars. Which I baked on Sunday and which Tom and I inhaled. They were delicious...so lemony and tart.

Next: angel food cake w/ berry sauce.

Pretty much the crappiest 24 hours I've had in a long time

If this comes across as whining, that's because it is. If you can complain to the internets it minimizes complaining in real life. This is actually true.

Things that happened
-woke up yesterday with sore throat, slight cough (sure signs of being sick)
-my fish died
-it was butt-freezing cold
-came home at 2 in the morning to discover that my hot water pipes had frozen in the kitchen
-My cable and internet are disabled, probably from the cold
-maintenance arrives at 4:30 to check it out — I have waited a long stinking time for them to show up
-maintenance informs me that my pipe has burst. He shuts off my hot water so I can't take a shower or wash my face without contracting frostbite.
-I get approximately 2 hours of sleep. The weather is such that every moron on the road drives approximately .007 miles per hour. I am exactly 1 minute late to my 8 o'clock class and the door is locked.
-I check Tom's flight status online. His flight into Detroit is delayed. His flight to South Bend will be leaving without him most likely, unless it is also delayed. The next flight is at noon.

Good things have happened too, but they aren't exactly counter-balancing the total suckage of the last day or so. Ugh. When it rains it pours — my bad days are always REALLY REALLY BAD days.

I write this from Lula's cafe while nursing hot chocolate, capped with a staggering froth of whipped cream. I have given up on this week.

Requiem for Maurice

Maurice has died. For the last day or so he had been really lethargic, lying on the bottom of his tank, with alternate bouts of spastic activity when I tried to prod him into action. I'm not sure what it was caused by — he had been relatively normal. My only conclusion is that during my prolonged absence he was so weak from hunger that he succumbed to an infection, and that is how he died. Today, I came home from school and he was dead.

I'm sorry, Maurice, that I left you for so long and didn't take good enough care of you. But you had a great life and you were a great pet while you lasted. Enjoy your time in fish heaven — I hope you have many castles to swim in and around.

I'm not sure if I'll get another fish, considering the difficult logistics of vacations and whatnot that I hadn't considered before. I did like having Maurice around though, so I guess we'll see.

The Curious Case of Maurice Murphy

I return home and Maurice, who ended up staying at my apartment (alone! for three weeks!) after all due to slight technical difficulties in fish transfer, is alive. Or is he? This Maurice is smaller and less flamboyant of tail than the Maurice I remember. Not to mention the characteristic white streak in this fin is gone.

Suspicious. I have a few theories. First, and most absurd, is that the maintenance staff noticed that he was dead and replaced him with a similar looking fish. Second, Maurice "thinned out" due to his lack of diet and company and his new appearance is such a result. Third, I'm losing it. This is highly possible.

Clearly, I was a better writer

Found this while going through our interminable boxes full of old crap. Punctuation and capitalization copied verbatim.

The bag full of rocks.

Once there was a little ghost who had a bag. but what was in it? Try to guess. how about a rock? close. how about rocks. Right.


I think I was probably about five or six when I wrote that. Gotta say it's better than anything I've written lately. What happened to that prodigy? How about law school. Right.

2008 recap

On second thought, let's not do this, because 2008 turned out to be a surprisingly disappointing year. Let's hear it for 2009! Actually, according to the Chinese zodiac 2009 is supposed to be a good year for me because it is the year of my sign (the Ox). On that note:

Goals for 2009 if I were an ox:
-plow an extra acre of field a day
-keep hooves clean
-be productive enough to stay skinny and therefore, less desirable as food

And now, real goals for 2009:
-stay happy
-stay healthy
-become a lean, mean, ambition driven machine. With plenty of room for squishy doggies, snuggles, and nights spent exercising my dancing queen muscles.

The last few weeks

Highlights, of course with commentary:

Christmas: incredibly low key, accompanied by one f.a.n.t.a.s.t.i.c. steak dinner. Holy toledo, that was good. We did not open Christmas presents on Christmas eve, as is usual in this family. Instead we waited for the NJ contingent to arrive on Christmas day and opened presents then. Some highlights: assorted tart pans, measuring cups (silicon collapsible AND porcelain DUCK!), lotions, clothes, and hopefully (when I get back), one very large TV.

Sister's Sweet Sixteen: Lucky ran away during the party. Tom found him. Twenty something sixteen year olds bopping along to club music in the basement and a DJ who also did digital sketches. She got a car. And she does not even have her learner's permit. I'll just leave this one at that. Oh, and she also got Rock Band and a PS3. Which is AWESOME and really fun. I like the singing because it is the easiest, clearly.

Family vacay: played untold hours of online Tetris and watched movies in the new, shiny, incredibly spacious home theatre. Did not get enough sleep.

New Year's Eve: family all left during the day. Spent a few hours cleaning up the whirlwind mess. Then collapsed and slept for a zillion hours straight.

And the last few days: some more low key stuff. Nothing to report. Which is exactly how I like it.

The busiest time of year

All I wanted was to be able to sleep for, oh, 20 hours or so. Instead, since arriving home on Sunday night, this is what I have done:
-vacuumed and dusted this entire house, top to bottom
-spent 3 hrs at Sam's Club, shopping for Christmas dinner and my sister's party
-picked up a Tom from the airport (YAY! one of the only good parts so far)
-put together a solid wood freaking gigantic table and 8 chairs to go with it
-put up and decorated a TWELVE. FOOT. TALL. Christmas tree.
-hung curtains, shower curtains, placed pictures
-ordered party favors, planned menus, decorated.

I have barely had a moment to myself except for eating, sleeping, and a late night screening of Mamma Mia last night in the as-yet-unfinished theatre. Please, let things calm down. I'm looking forward to a quiet Christmas and New Year.

Hear that sound? That's the universe, laughing at me.

Why?

I can tell you where to get these shoes for $2.50 — any Chinese variety store. I have no idea what is going on here, but somewhere in Southeast Asia a bunch of pajama wearing grandparents suddenly became very fashionable.

Minneapolis: surprisingly cold, hospitable OR At least I got a blog post out of it

So I haven't posted in a long time...I guess I'll use the seven hours of spare time I have in the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport to update my life. Readers who are aware, feel free to skip the garbled mumbo-jumbo below. I haven't removed my contacts since Friday, so I also cannot vouch for the spelling or grammatical accuracy of this entry. Forewarned!

Behold: the travel saga, abridged in bullet form. All times are estimated, but close to accurate and NOT exaggerated. Believe me. This is the best I could do while looking at the NWA flight schedules and comparing them to the call log from my cell phone.

-4:56: Flight scheduled to leave South Bend
-5:15: Flight arrives in South Bend
-5:21: Board flight in South Bend
-5:30: Everyone on board in South Bend.
-5:45: Everyone still on board in South Bend.
-5:55: Everyone still on board in...you guessed it, South Bend.
-6:00: Six people are taken off our plane. It is too heavy. Apparently the agent thought it'd be a better idea to burn 3 hrs of fuel to lighten the weight instead of removing 6 passengers who were last minute bookings from other airlines. Pilot disagreed. Argument ensued. Pilot wins after forty five minutes.
-6:15: Cargo dudes finally find the departees' luggage and close the door. We chill for a little while for no apparent reason.
-7:15: Wheels up! YES. [Note: if you look on the NWA site it says that we left at 6:12 and arrived at 7:51. This is false because it does not take 1.5 hours to fly from South Bend to Detroit. What they really mean is that we moved away from the gate at 6:12].
-7:51: Arrive Detroit. Connection from Detroit to Minneapolis was scheduled for 7:12. I assume I didn't make it. I assume wrong, because it is delayed.
-8:40: Flight from Detroit to Minneapolis scheduled to depart.
-9:35: Flight from Minneapolis to Wichita departs...without me.
-9:50: Flight from Detroit to Minneapolis actually departs.
-11:08: Arrive Minneapolis.

This is followed by a blur of waiting in lines of hundreds of people, news that the next flight to Wichita that they can guarantee me isn't until MONDAY (but standby for a Sunday flight is available), a late night shuttle trip to a hotel in Eagan, Minnesota, the realization that I have eaten nothing but a bowl of cereal at noon and have therefore consumed no food for over 13 hours, the realization that nothing is open here in South Fargo and my hotel has no room service, the quiet and desperate inhalation of a single granola bar, five hours of fitful sleep, and a trip back to the airport at 11:30 to wait for the standby flight. And apparently, the longest run-on sentence in the history of blogging. Ever.

It was (and is) also -26 here. The first time I was struck in the face by that wind, I think I broke out in cold blisters immediately. The people here are obviously made of hardy Scandinavian peasant stock, whereas my folk come from the land of 100+ degrees and 80% humidity. Clearly, I was built for this.


And then...THEN! Success!!!!!!

I am booked on a flight to Kansas City tonight at 7:05. KC is about 3 hrs from my house but at this point, I just want to get home before Christmas. Parental units will be arriving to pick me up, hopefully with food in tow. I will sleep for 48 hours straight and, with any luck, wake to find that if nothing else this ordeal has caused me to lose two pounds. Score.

When in doubt, blog

I need to outline, outline, outline...and yet, here I am.

Quick updates:

-baking time has been severely reduced, so the shiny new implements I acquired over Thanksgiving break are going to have to take a back seat until I get back to school in 2009...sob.

-I think I might be getting addicted to caffeine...I get these weird behind-the-eye headaches and they tend to go away with that first cup of coffee. This is absolutely not good and come break, I might have to figure out a way to slowly wean myself off the magic concoction that is 2 packets of sugar + a big splash of half and half. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

-I have given up getting my apartment clean; I simply don't have the time. Therefore, I've resorted to trying to control the mess: I have a bag for all the mail. All the dishes are in the sink. All the clothes are in a pile. Yes, they're clean, and yes, there's plenty of closet space and they should be there—but the point is that they're not EVERYWHERE.

-Taylor Swift. That's about all I'm going to say without going into a hundreds-of-words long review of how genius her pop songwriting skills are.

ACK. My life is a shambles. Please, please, please let me pull through the next few weeks with some of my sanity intact.

Please.

Drowning...

...in Christmas present shopping, packing boxes, laundry, notes, books, unopened mail, and mismatched socks.

There could not be a better description of my life right now.

Santa, baby.

This year's wishlist:

-The Joy of Cooking/Baking
-A Le Creuset Dutch Oven (yeah right)
-Silpat
-Extra bowl for KitchenAid Artisan mixer
-BtVS season 8 comics
-A replacement power cord for my MBP
-Frye riding boots (again, yeah right)

The geeky housewife factor here is through the roof.

Maurice: an update

I've now had Maurice for over 6 months; possibly a record for me when it comes to fish-raising. As far as I can tell, he's doing pretty well. He just swims around in his tank all day, and since fish have memory spans of maybe 10 seconds, it means that every time he makes a circuit around his tank he notices his castle anew and is like "Cool! A castle!" And repeat...repeat...repeat.

The interesting thing about Maurice (well, I find it interesting) is that he's cold-blooded, and therefore is entirely dependent on the temperature of his surroundings. When my apartment is cold, he's sluggish, and when it's warmer, he's perky. There a few implications to this, but the most important one is that I'm afraid to really lower the temperature in my apartment when I'm not here, for fear that I'll return and find him a floating ice cube.

This poses some interesting dilemmas; this week I'll be traveling to the wilds of Northern Michigan for Thanksgiving with T.'s family, but since I won't be here I want to lower the temperature in my apartment so as not to waste money and energy heating rooms that no one will be in. Which means that I'll have to either leave Maurice here to freeze, or take him with me. Guess which option I'm taking here?

And the real problem will be Christmas break, because I'm not sure what I'm going to do, being gone for three weeks. I'll be flying home, so I won't be able to take him with me. But I can't leave him here by himself—he'll freeze, and starve, to death. So what should I do?

The options are:
-send him home with my Mom when she comes in a few weeks to pack up her stuff and take it back to Kansas. The problem with this is that she's killed the last 2 betta fish she's owned. While I trust him with her for just a few weeks, I can't figure out a way to get him back here when vacation is over. This might take some figuring out.

-drive home to Kansas so that he can ride in the car with me. I realize that this is absolutely insane and that I'm nuts to even momentarily entertain this idea for a pet that can't actually make eye contact with me. Really, this would be the only way for him to get to and from Kansas safely. However, I'm not quite enamored enough to drive 12 hours each way just to ensure that Maurice is comfortable.

-find a sitter. I have some friends who are rectors at the school who might be willing to let him dwell there for a little while; it'll be warm there at least (I think?) and depending on when they get back he should be OK with the no food (or I could get him some slow-feeding pellets). Or I can ask the law school staff if it's OK to let him chill at the school for a few weeks; at least there will be heat there and I wonder if they would feed him. Again, I understand that this is complete ridiculous, but I don't want him to die.

Suggestions are welcome. I'm sure you are all glad to know that I have given so much thought to the welfare of my fish, while putting off any concern for the welfare of my fed courts outline. Stay tuned for the outcome—I know you're all just riveted to your seats.

Sigh. Pudding. Remix.

Unlike the delicious little sample I practically inhaled last night, the rest of the pudding...never...set.

What happened? What went wrong? I NEED TO KNOW!


Also, this is basically how I feel about Fed Courts right now:
Habeas brainus? Please?

Sigh. Pudding.

I'm a bad person.



But it tasted sooooooo good.

Poem, before bed

I have a lot of work to do.
Ooh, "Friends"!

On the ground

There's snow on the ground. I don't remember feeling quite this enraged/frustrated last year when that happened. My cynical side must be catching up with me...that, and my cold toes.