Dear Abby,
My mother is paranoid about my driving abilities, though I have been perfectly capable of chauffuering myself for the last four years, and won't let me drive 5 hours to see my boyfriend without guilt-tripping me into feeling like Elektra. I am unwilling to give up a weekend spent 'up nort' and therefore am in a dilemma. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Driving Under Dictators
Dear DUD,
My suggestion is to purchase a large box, pad it well, stock it with supplies, and FedEx yourself overnight to said boyfriend. This will bring a whole new meaning to 'care package' and 'love letter' and will also thwart your parental strictures for a total of only 111.97, plus fees and expenses. No refunds guaranteed.
Sincerely,
Abby
TODAY'S SECRET MESSAGE: Tater rocks my world. She is pretty effin' sweet. We are going to change the world this summer. Anyone who wants to join please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:
Ambitious Almost Twenty-somethings
1000 Hopeful Lane
Idealism, CA 11111
No wet blankets need apply.
4 comments:
My sweet, you are one crazy girl as we can see from this post. And what happened to your birthday party being on the 20th instead?
No need for FedEx. All we have to do is turn the old Tom Florip charm on your mom. How about I send her 305 roses - one for every mile of the trip she'll have to let you take. That or I think the teleportation was a good idea.
Hey Bern, I know you hate to lie, but you could say that you're going to Ann Arbor to hang with the girls, or say that Tom is meeting you there. If you said you were meeting there to hang out, you wouldn't have to lie about what you did as long as it's stuff you could do in Ann Arbor. Also make sure that they aren't anally conscious of the mileage. Just a suggestion. Good luck!
(Sorry it was deleted before, I spelled something wrong but I fixed it. Otherwise this is the original post)
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